You Deserve the Best Too
by Baby Darth Dalloway
Summary: Emily contemplates the person she was and is in reflecting on her past and Alison's return. Emily-centric with a Paily resolution. Thoughts on Emily's mostly one-sided love for Alison and how it's affected her as a persona and her relationship with Paige. NOW A TWO-SHOT with some Paige introspection and a touch of Paily fluff. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

You Deserve the Best Too

**Hello everyone! This is my first fiction after leaving for a while. First thing to mention is THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS for season 5/ episodes we haven't seen yet. This fic was supposed to be Emily-centric in dealing with her feelings for Alison, but then it took an interesting turn and came to a Paily resolution (though still highly Emily-centric). It's an introspection of Emily's feelings for Alison before and after the big return, and how she comes to realize more about herself. Reviews are appreciated! ^_^**

* * *

Love seems so beautiful and uncomplicated when you only see it from your side of things. However, when your love is one-sided, I think it can set you up for failure, at least that's the conclusion I've drawn laying outside tonight. It's only when reality sets in and distorts your dream that the love you feel seems tarnished in some way. Maybe that's my way of justifying my feelings for my former best friend and the way I've acted like a loyal dog to her over the years. When your love is one-sided, unreciprocated, it's tragically beautiful because that's all it is; on one side, where it can't be hurt, as opposed to when two people are in a relationship together. When it's two-sided. The one-sided love remains in a pretty pink bubble where you can sit and admire it…. Where you and your heart and your hopes can remain safe. Where it's entirely perfect.

That is, until the bubble goes POP.

With everything that has happened in my life since Ali's disappearance (now turned reappearance), and with all of the struggles I've had to see my friends go through as well, my head has been ready to explode lately. It's probably around 9pm right now, but while out running to try and stop all of the voices bouncing around in my head, I stumbled upon the playground and just had to take a seat on the large slide from my childhood. Laying back and gazing at the stars, it helps to quiet my mind. It helps to reflect. And what was I reflecting on? Oh, right. Love.

I don't think my one-sided love alone ruined my understanding of the concept. I actually think being a competitive athlete helped contribute to my failings in love as well. It's something I realized after finally bowing out of swimming, of the one thing I was notorious for.

You see, when you're an athlete, things are very simple. You either win or you lose. There is no gray in between. If you're a star athlete, then it gets even simpler. If you lose? You go train harder, get even more star-like, and go grab that win. Swimming taught me if I worked hard at what I love, and make sure I enjoy it, it will only come easier and more naturally to me. Maybe that's what raw talent really is; the ability to continue to progress under the right circumstances and mindset. But still, you can't take an athlete's mindset into the real world because reality is not black and white. There are no winners or losers because it's a mess of failures and triumphs. Life isn't like the 1980's American ice hockey team's defeat of Russia. Life is what comes after. Life is taking that gold medal into the real world and realizing it's one of many triumphs that will come. But within athletics? That one win is everything.

I think that's why Spencer cracked after a while, and why Mona was right about me, albeit infuriatingly so. Spencer didn't learn to enjoy wins because it was fun to succeed at something she loved. I loved swimming, I still do, and that's why I'm passionate about it. That athletic drive to keep pushing through helped me toughen up, or as Mona said, it helped strengthen me. Spencer has only loved wins for the big "W" she earns, and I don't blame her. That's all the Hastings ever drilled into her head. That's why she cracked, because there is no win with A. There may never even be an end to A's game at this rate.

So even though my athletic mindset has helped me get stronger as A continues to torture us, when it came to love, it misguided me. I was really insecure when Ali was around, and it only continued to worsen as time went on and I realized I was gay. People always praised me for things like swimming or my manners or even my looks, but I was still losing. I still wasn't winning Alison over. I still wasn't enough. I was passionate about Alison too, and I wanted that "win" in a figure of speaking. I knew she was playing with my feelings. Deep down, I knew. I knew she wasn't the perfect girl in that pretty pink bubble I constructed, but I wanted her to be. Maybe I even needed her to be. It was easy to blame myself. If I was the one who just got better, who improved, then she could return my feelings. Then everything would be okay. Then this perfect love where you run off into the sunset happily ever after could actually happen. Like I said, until the bubble goes pop.

While I kept deluding myself into thinking Alison was perfect and I just needed to be as perfect to win over her affections, I didn't realize she was toying with me like she was with someone like Hanna. Alison preyed on Hanna's insecurity, one that was available for all to see. She made Hanna feel unworthy too, like she wasn't good enough for Alison either, or maybe anyone, not until she was a size 0 and getting college boys like it was nothing. When Hanna talked to me about Caleb once, she told me as much. She said she didn't feel worthy of love for so long, until Caleb showed her how wrong she was. She said she was scared of love because she felt no one would love her for who she was, a girl with a Hefty-Hanna type past. It wasn't until today I realized how similar we were.

After her run in with Mona at the Brew, post our New York adventure two weeks ago, she just explained how much she had changed who she was so she could feel wanted. She was pretty troubled over everything, and after coming to school with black hair the next Monday, I understood she was just as confused as I was with Ali being back. It only got worse for her and myself when Ali returned to school. Ali returning has made me realize so many things I hadn't seen from the past that maybe I wouldn't be able to see until now. Until my vision wasn't so clouded by her.

Ali being back is amazing in many ways, but it's also had to make me face facts. She loved me. She was my friend. But she was never in love with, and all of these gestures have just been more of the old Ali trying to draw me in. Even as the eight of us watched the news the other night, she secured my hand in a death grip. Small things like this were what I was used to cling on to, hoping that they really meant something more. After hearing from the transfer swimmer that she saw Paige and Alison get into a fight over me, it just made it even clearer. Alison just wanted control of us. Maybe she genuinely wanted our friendship too, but she was selfish. She only wanted what she wanted, even if it was concerning other people. She is a selfish person, like I keep finding myself to be, especially when it comes to Paige.

Tears finally reach my eyes and I have to sit up on the slide. Paige. That name can elicit a plethora of responses depending on the time and place. No one gets to me like Paige does, not even Alison, and that's mostly where all of the noise in my head has been coming from. She's all I've been thinking about.

Paige was the last person I expected to come along, but I think all of the girls feel the same. Caleb? Toby? Mr. Fitz? If you had told us all years ago those are the people who we would end up falling hopelessly in love with? We all probably would have sent you to Radley. Paige was definitely not what I expected.

Paige was maybe half of me and half of Spencer in terms of athletic mindset and winning. Still, she is incredibly competitive, especially if what she said to Alison is true. Paige is a fighter. She never stops fighting, especially for the ones she loves. Before, during, and after our time together, she always seemed to be fighting for us. She was a self-proclaimed ballsy woman, and I loved her for it. What Hanna said about Caleb rang true for me as well. I didn't really feel worthy of love, not until Paige came around.

Maya was what every first girlfriend should be, but nothing past that. I loved her, but it was the type of love that comes and goes and is perfect just for that time. The same could be said of what happened with Samara and I, but I didn't even love her. Still, I did get jealous with them though, one of my many horrible character traits. I'm finding more of those lately. It never quite hurt like it did with Paige though, when I found out about her and Shana. I could barely contain my anger when we confronted each other, but I understood her in the end.

And that's sort of what led me to realize how in love with her I am. Paige and I are both passionate and our relationship is intense. I kept shying away from it, and from her. I would never get jealous of Alison, or if I did, it was small. It was because even though I loved her in whatever way you can define it, it was a type of love that would never hurt me because it could never be real. The bubble was safe. Pining after Alison, with slim chances of it coming to fruition, was safe. She never saw who I really was, she never knew me deeply, not like Paige. She never let me feel like I was good enough, and Paige has never stopped telling me how good I really am.

Taking my head in my hands, I just shake back and forth. I never thought I would be the person who was so scared of love, the real kind. My parents are both wonderful and loving and have a fantastic relationship. I never had to see my parents do what Hanna, Aria or Spencer's parents have done or even still do to one another. Maybe this was the real mark Alison left on me or that I let be left on me. When it came down to it, all I did was run from Paige. Even at the times when I defended her, when my friends thought she was A, was I defending her because if she was A then it wouldn't be love? Then I wouldn't get hurt because she was horrible to us? Hell, I don't even know at this point. All I do know is that I'm sitting at a playground on a Tuesday night bawling because it's taken me this long to sort out my feelings about Alison, to finally close that chapter and those feelings, and it's all too late.

"Emily?"

Of course she finds me at a time like this. She always seems to. I look up and don't bother trying to hide my tears and swollen face, though I brush them away for lack of a better thing to do. I close my eyes and chuckle lightly to myself.

"You always seem to find me when I'm mess," I say to her. My arms stretch out to relax on my knees and my head goes to lay there sideways, looking up at her concerned face. "You must be exhausted of seeing my face like this."

She pauses. I don't think she was prepared for me to be so open and raw, especially after everything that's happened. She looks down, and her mouth twitches a little in thought until her gaze travels back up and she's looking at me softly, looking at me like she used to.

"I could never be exhausted of seeing your face," she says honestly. She finishes closing the gap between us and sits next to me on the large slide. I straighten up and find my feet the most interesting thing to look at while I feel her gaze on my face. She brushes back some fallen strands of hair, wrapping them around my ear.

"Though it still hurts to see your face like this… and so often-" she drifts off, and I understand. Sometimes in the insanity of our lives, I think Aria, Hanna, Spencer and I forget what it's like for our loved ones. We always worry about their safety; we're always concerned if we are doing the right thing involving them in our chaos. Even though we know how much it hurts to see them in pain, we forget how much pain they get to see us in, and how much it must hurt them in return.

I look back and half smile. I honestly don't know how this girl put up with me. For every bad or crazy thing she did, she at least had some reason. Telling the cops was motivated by her desire to protect me. Not coming out was due to an understandable fear. Even dunking my head and being a jerk came from a place of dark insecurity and anger. But me? When I look back I just see so many of my reasons being the same. Selfishness. Maybe I did deserve Ali after all.

Everyone always sees what they want to see, and I think people assume that because I'm quiet, polite and nice that I don't have bad qualities too. If my love life has been an indication, people have their image of me very wrong. I've abandoned Paige so many times, and yet here she is sitting next to me and comforting me. She never runs, she never quits, not like I have.

She puts her hand on my back and rubs in circles knowing how much it comforts me. I can't help but cry more.

"Em…what is going on?"

I just shake my head. How do I explain the train of thought and depressing self-monologue I've gone through this evening? Do I even have a right to burden her with this anymore, after jerking her around for so long?

I cup my face and start wiping my eyes again, trying to control the sniffles.

"I meant what I said to you Paige… you deserve the best of everything."

Her movements stop for a second, and I'm waiting for her to yell, for her to tell me to stop being so foolish and just face my fears. That's what I've been berating myself for all night. But no yelling comes, and she begins her strokes once again.

"I meant what I said too Emily."

I turn my head again, confusion written on my face, and she just smiles. How can she keep smiling like that after everything I've put her through?

"Wha-"

"You, Emily," she cuts me off. I only grow more confused and she pulls her arm back. Her hands gently go to my wrists and pull them away from my face to replace them with her own. Her thumbs start brushing away my tears, and she kisses me. I feel the urge to cry even harder.

It's soft and it doesn't last long. It's a kiss of the sincerest affections. She's just looking back into my eyes again, and I can't say a word. I'm afraid to say anything at all.

"The best is you."

I can feel my face crumbling and I just go into her shoulder full on sobbing now. I think she knows why I'm crying. She really does know me too well, and she's seen what I haven't been able to for so long now. It takes me a while to get it together and bring the sobbing to a light sniffle. She's still rubbing my back. I finally get the courage to speak again, to ask what I've needed to for so long but have been so keen on avoiding.

"Why, Paige? How can you… after everything I've put you through. Why are you still here?" I whisper it so softly, I'm secretly hoping she doesn't hear so I won't have to know the answer. She smiles into my hair, planting a kiss there and laying her cheek down as she continues to cradle me.

"Because you deserve the best too."

FIN

* * *

So a little background about this… I've wanted to write a bit about Emison and the notion of Emily's unreciprocated love for a while. As I was exploring the character, it took some interesting turns that I feel helped me understand her better. Truthfully, I haven't been a major fan of the Emily character in the same way I was not a fan of Piper from OITNB until season 2. Emily is a pretty flawed character and I think she's pretty selfish, especially when it comes to Paige. She never really seems like a happy character. I also feel her love for Alison is not really about knowing who Alison really is. It's like falling in love with a mystery, not a real person. With all of that being said, I would love for her to have some resolution within herself. As I mentioned with Piper, she seemed to come to an understanding in season 2 that she is a very different person than she thought she was and she has major flaws. We all do! I find Emily just oddly portrayed, as if she's attempting to be happy and wonderful but her action don't quite mirror that…..

Anywayyyyy! That is enough negative ranting. Please don't kill me Emily fans! I hope she and Paige have some awesome growth together, but I also hope we get more Emily/ Shay Mitchell. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel something is missing. Anywho! Please review! Even PM me your thoughts on the Emily matter because maybe talking it through will help me figure it out! Haha. Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Unreciprocated love….It's karma's bitch twin sister in my opinion. Or at least they were both bitches until one day they decided to team up and make my life go from hell to heaven. But before things got good, I mean really good, they were pretty terrible. _I_ was pretty terrible. Love can twist you into something you're not or bring out the worst in you. Fortunately, it can also bring out the best. That's how it's been for me lately, ever since unreciprocated love turned into reciprocated love…very reciprocated love. And karma just said my dues were paid. After Alison Dilaurentis torments you for a portion of your young adult life, I guess it only seems fair.

After everything that I've gone through, I figured at some point things were going to get nice and steady, you know? Not in the perfect fairytale way, not in the way I think Emily wanted Alison. No. I just mean the whole, no friends getting nearly killed, a nice absence of dead bodies and no more psychos threatening to cut my throat open. Well, that last one was a one off, but since A's still out to play, I'm not ruling anything out. But still! You would think that after everything, I would get at least a calm period, or at least not lose the love of my life. Apparently not.

As I pull myself up and out of the pool to sit on the ledge, I rip off my goggles. My times are shit with everything going on in my head. I glance up at the clock and notice it's nearly 9pm. I can only hope swimming tired me out enough to get some form of sleep tonight. It's been hard to not think about everything…about her. God, do I miss her.

Wrapping the towel around me, I wade my feet in the pool. I still can't believe it hasn't even been a month, and Alison Dilaurentis's reappearance has already wrecked the life I was building without her previous marks still tainting it. I have to say though, if any bitch could survive an attempted murder and two years on the lamb? It's her. I wasn't scared of Alison for no reason. I'm Paige McCullers and I don't really do the fear thing, or at least I didn't used to, but again, psychos with knives, blackmailing sociopaths, my girlfriend… ex-girlfriend… being in life-threatening danger at all hours of the day? You learn what fear is, the very hard way.

Mona mentioned something to me the other week that said to her, about fear being a good thing and that it helps keep you alert and aware so you never underestimate people. I've definitely kept that in mind, especially after Alison's first day back to school. I'm surprised there wasn't a red carpet laid out for all the attention she was getting. People really could not stop. I guess I was still a bit late though, to utilizing my fear. I wish I knew how I got to this point, because sometimes I really don't understand. I don't even think Emily understands.

I know I wasn't perfect when we first started going out and getting to know each other. I mean I dunked her head in water and roughed her up. The fact that she didn't hold that against me is amazing all alone. But I knew I wasn't perfect then. I guess maybe I did know what fear was then too, but I was in such denial. I was fearful of Alison until she was gone, fearful of my parents until I finally told them the truth. I was even fearful of Emily until I impulsively shared my secret that night in the car. Maybe I've just always been afraid.

Alison helped with that. I can't even remember when it was I started liking Emily. I remembered her in junior high when we began to take swimming seriously and started seeing each other more often. I was quiet back then though. I liked to blend in. Obviously not while in the pool, I had to get my wins in. But overall, I preferred to be in the background. It was simple there. It wasn't really until high school that I felt my quietness turn into something more. Plain anger.

Freshman year was hard because with Emily and I on the same team, I learned why I was so fascinated with her. I was completely smitten with Emily Fields, and not in a friendly way. I became so resentful and so angry, mostly with myself, that I could barely be civil in any conversation with her. Fortunately our interactions were far and few between. After Alison and I started going head to head in things like field hockey, that was when things got worse. I remember the day so clearly, that feeling of dread never stronger than at that moment. I reassured myself that Alison had no proof, that I had nothing to worry about. It wasn't until the letter incident that I learned how greatly I underestimated her.

I was in the library studying right before Thanksgiving break and looked up from my book when Emily's laugh made its way to my ears. I could recognize her laugh even in a crowd. It was like music and it pulled at my heartstrings in a way. I was near the front entrance and saw her walking in with a teammate joking about something. I was completely transfixed, and it was moments like this where I would allow myself to watch her and just let me feelings be. These were the only times I could. My eyes followed her walk, her long and muscular legs striding along. Her smile was wide and eyes were big. She's incredibly beautiful, especially when she smiles. I love making her smile.

Watching her even got my mouth to turn up slightly, and I let my eyes follow her until she was out of view. I stayed staring, lost in thought…and then _she_ was there. I looked back towards the front desk, Alison standing there staring. Her eyes were squinting, attempting to figure me out. A slow smirk began to form on her face. She dropped her book off in the return bin watching me the entire time and only turned her head back when she finally made it to the door. That sense of dread… it's nothing I wanted to experience again.

I made myself scarce after her threats, and that's when my own depression began to be the bully for me. It wasn't just Alison, but my parents too, and the fact that I had no one. I didn't really have friends to turn to. My parents were more worried about their town image and my success versus my well-being. And Emily… Emily didn't even know anything was happening. It was a horrible time and I became pretty horrible in return. Anger, competition, sports and school were what I paid attention to. That's how I spent my first year of high school… and then Alison went missing.

I wish I was a better person who could say they cared, but I wasn't. I was completely relieved when she was gone. It didn't change anything though. I spent sophomore year still by myself with maybe a few distant swim friends. I watched Emily and her friends grow apart, and even though I wished I could be there for her, I knew she would never understand. She would never feel for me the way I did her, and so I let it be and kept to myself. Unreciprocated love…. It's a bitch.

I wipe myself down and change after my shower, getting the chlorine off of my body. I don't want to go home just yet. Once I'm in one of these deep thinking moods, it won't end till I start to understand something or come to any sort of resolution. I leave my car at the school and decide to walk through my thoughts rather than drive.

I have to say, it was probably the biggest shocker of my life when the rumors went around about Emily and Maya. All I could think of was, _how_ is this happening? She was never supposed to be gay; I never thought she could be! But there Emily Fields was, and that was when I decided it was time to be more myself, to finally start accepting who I was. Obviously it didn't happen all at once.

It was amazing getting to know Emily, but I learned something quickly about her. Emily is a flighty one. I didn't think so when I knew her from afar, but after our official split due to my lack of courage and coming out, I realized Emily was not who I thought she was. She wasn't perfect, and frankly neither was I if my behavior was any indication. I didn't realize how little I really knew Emily, or knew myself. It hurt even more to watch her go after having her but I resigned to focusing on what I needed to; myself.

Spending most of the year dealing with my coming out and my anger issues was exhausting. It didn't make it any easier when I saw Emily bouncing around from girl to girl. I never understood what she saw in Maya. Maybe she was edgy, but she was reckless too. Still, no one deserves to die so young, and after trying to work things out with Emily at the ball, I knew she would be different after Maya's death. Two women she loved both ending up dead. I can't even begin to imagine if I were in her shoes and she was the one being buried.

Sometimes I wonder if timing is everything. I don't think we would have ever lasted if we had stayed together when we both had so much to go through, and then once everything happened with Nate, it only made us grow stronger together. Still, I could sense that flighty side of her. I didn't know what it was for a long time. I suspected she was still nervous over Maya's death, but once she sat me down months later and started talking to me about Alison, and after so long, it finally dawned on me. She was still hanging on to that dream.

I guess it's different for her and I. No, it is definitely different. I had feelings for Emily for years, but I also wasn't afraid to see the bad in her. I was never afraid to hate her, and over time, I understood I really needed to get to know the real her. I was lucky to have that chance, and also lucky that she turned out to be even more amazing than I had ever dreamed. Even so, Emily never had that chance. She only had a dream of Alison. She loved her and for so long never saw any bad in her, not until her reappearance and her confession to me that night. I think part of the reason she needed to vent was that she was finally coming to terms with who Alison really was…and Emily hated it.

Emily's always been the hopeful one, the dreamer. I'm much more logical, technical, and I get things done. Emily is the sweet one, and it's only natural she would hate to have the beautiful dream she constructed of her and Alison ruined in any way. Alison was her first love just like Emily was mine; only Emily never did to me what Alison did. Emily would never intentionally hurt anyone, but still. I can't keep holding on.

I don't know why Emily is so fragile. She's beautiful, inside and out. Yes, she's stubborn, can be insanely jealous, and is definitely worse than me about getting her way, but she's also scared. I never would have suspected someone like Emily to be insecure, but the more I've watched her over time, the more I see it.

I snuck up on her and Sydney in the locker the other week, and I could see it plain as day. I guess when your girlfriend is basically a supermodel and you can barely control yourself around her, you forget she might actually feel the same way around you and have those fears of rejection, and man had I missed that about her for so long, that fear of being denied. As we talked with Sydney, I could feel the anxiety radiating off of her. I couldn't help but comment on her arms, and I could barely contain my laugh when she made a comment on stroke rate. Still, her flight and our subsequent chat only confirmed everything for me. Emily was terrified of real love, of our love.

I never pegged her for one to be fearful. She's been with a bunch of different girls, and I knew she was a die hard romantic. I never thought that out of the two of us, she would be the one running. I spent that week trying to figure out why, what was she so afraid of? Was she scared I would leave her? I had always been so resolute I thought. It couldn't have been her parents. They seemed so normal. The question kept swirling around until finally, Alison answered them all.

I can barely remember the words Alison sent to me when she ran into Sydney and I in the hall. I told Sydney to go off to the locker room, and she ended up helping me after our chat. Alison basically told me to stop stalking Emily and accept that things were over. I had seen them holding hands around school that day but I figured it was for moral support. I could barely contain my stern face with Alison, until she mentioned me not being good enough for Emily… and it hit me.

"It's you," I said. Alison paused in her rant when I interrupted her.

"What?"

I looked at her, my eyebrows furrowed in concentration as I was finally seeing Alison for who she really was in Emily's life, and finally coming to an understanding of Emily's fear. Alison put it there, just like she had Hanna, and just like she had me.

"You're the reason she's so afraid, aren't you?" I squared my shoulders and stood up taller. I had no anger for Alison anymore. All I had was disappointment. Of course Emily, sweet Emily, would never have felt good enough for Alison. Alison didn't think anyone was good enough.

"Excuse me?" Now she just looked peeved and confused, but I just shook my head at her.

"You know… I used to be scared of you Alison. But now, looking at you…I'm just disappointed."

Her mouth dropped, but she didn't have more to say. I think she was expecting me to go all She-Hulk on her ass for old times sake, but I couldn't even muster that. I took a step closer to continue.

"You know I've been trying to figure out for ages why Emily is so scared, and why she runs at every opportunity…and I just realized… it's _you_."

Her mouth closed into a firm line and I pressed on.

"She was completely in love with you, and hoped for the best for you…and all you did was make her into a fool for believing you in Alison."

"I made mistakes, I-"

"Don't tell me you've changed," I raised my voice slightly shaking my head at her and taking one step closer, our faces inches apart. "She's terrified no one will be able to reciprocate love, real love for her. She's so scared she isn't good enough, and worst of all, she's scared people may even die for loving her."

She stopped speaking and glanced away. I could see regret in her eyes, but her face was too stubborn to admit it too.

"I'm in love with her Alison, but I can't keep waiting for her to turn around and stop running," I said finally looking away myself. I took a step away and then another, but stopped.

"I really hope you don't ruin her a second time around. If you care about her at all, about any of your friends, remember they're no longer your dolls Alison."

I turned my head to look her square in the eyes, hers looking right back into mine.

"And for the record, neither am I."

I was really surprised that she didn't respond and the conversation went as it did. I never thought I would react that way. I guess I never know what's going to happen anymore.

I sigh as I turn down the next street and see the back of the playground. I'm lucky it's a nice night. I'm about to sit on the swing when I hear something. What the hell is that?

I start walking over towards the structure, and then I realize it's a person making those sniffling noises. I was about to leave but recognize that body anywhere.

"Emily?" I call out. I notice her pause and can tell she can recognize my voice. She brushes some tears away and I take a step closer.

"You always seem to find me when I'm a mess," she says as she rests her head on her arms, her knees curled into her while sitting on the wide-mouthed slide.

"You must be exhausted of seeing my face like this."

I pause and take in what she says while looking down. I smirk briefly at the ridiculous notion of ever tiring of her face. I might as well be as honest as she is.

"I could never be exhausted of seeing your face," I reply. I take the last few steps and join her on the slide while she sits up. I see some loose strands of hair and I can't help but reach out and tuck them behind her ear.

"Though it still hurts to see your face like this… and so often-" I drift off. I don't think either of us wants to think about how much worry we feel for each other's safety. Whoever said danger and action was fun and adventurous never met A.

She half smiles, and I'm sure she's thinking the same things. I can see a thousand thoughts going through her mind right now. I try to comfort her by rubbing circles on her back. She's such a cuddler, and any form of physical contact helps sooth her. Right now though, it only makes her cry harder and even though I swore I would not do the chasing again, I still have to ask.

"Em, what is going on?"

She just shakes her head and takes a bit to hold her face in her hands. Her sniffles are starting to calm, but like everything in my life, it's a calm before a storm. I've never seen her quite like this before.

"I meant what I said to you Paige… you deserve the best of everything."

This catches me off guard and I pause my rubbing. Now all of the thoughts are running through my mind, and I can't help but wonder… does she finally understand?

"I meant what I said too Emily," is all I can reply as I continue soothing her back. She turns to look at me like I'm insane, and I can't help but smile at her look. I've felt that way before too, Em.

"Wha-"

"You, Emily," I cut her off. She only looks more confused, and I get it. She's been waiting to get rejected for so long, she can't even believe I'm here right now. Don't you get it Em? I gently pull her wrists from her face and cup her cheeks to wipe away her tears. I kiss her gently and hope she understands how much I love her, that I am here for her, and even though our lives are a messy chaos in Rosewood, our feelings don't have to be. I pull back and can see she's stunned, so I explain.

"The best is you."

I don't know what I was expecting, but her face crumbles and she starts full on sobbing, circling her arms over my shoulders and burying her face in my neck. All I can do is hold on tight and hope she knows it's okay. It really is okay Em, I was scared before too. I hold her like that for some time, and I know her stubborn self too well. She needs to hear it. She needs to understand why, because for so long, she doubted that any of this could ever happen for her.

"Why, Paige," she whispers softly. "How can you… after everything I've put you through. Why are you still here?"

I smile slowly and kiss her head. I take a deep breath resting my cheek on top of her head. Such a simple question with an easily as simple answer.

"Because… you deserve the best too."

We stay like that for who knows how long. We talked quietly, and she admits to the fear and insecurity I took so long to figure out myself. I apologize for breaking her trust, and understand she didn't want me interfering. These big blowouts we have had over the years suck, but I have to say, we get better at communicating through each one. We start walking back to the school to grab my car, hand in hand, when she speaks again.

"Sydney told me about your chat….with Alison, I mean."

I nod slowly not really sure what to say.

"You really do know me better than anyone else."

Finally we reach the car and she stops us, pulling me to face her.

"Can we go away tonight, and tomorrow? I just… I'm not ready to let go of you just yet."

She looks away blushing the entire time and it's surprising having our roles so reversed with her being the shy one.

"My aunt's cabin isn't too far from here," I reply.

She just looks back and smiles a small smile again. It's not just her though. I finally have her back and I don't want this to ever end. Now, I'm more certain than ever though that it won't.

We drive in content silence up to the cabin, our hands clasped the whole way. We finally make the 20-minute trek and it's nearly midnight by the time we sneak in and get settled. She looks as exhausted as me. Breakups are not our strong suits.

I finally find some extra shirts and throw one to her to wear to bed. I change myself and go around to lock everything. I let my parents know I'm up here for the night, intentionally not informing them about my intent to skip tomorrow. Emily forms an alibi that she's with Hanna and we finally get to lie down.

I'm on my back when she curls her arm and leg over me, and I wrap an arm around her back with my hand going into her hair. I let my other hand go to the thigh wrapped around me and tug it closer, kissing her head as it goes to that place right in my neck/ chest that she loves to nuzzle. We sit there quietly, sleepily, exchanging gentle caresses.

"I'm sorry it took so long to finally understand myself… to understand why I've been running."

"It's okay Em. I just knew that I couldn't make you see anything. You had to sort through it yourself... kind of like when I had to."

"What you said to Alison though… it helped me. Thank you."

I smile as she kisses my neck and I pull her closer. It's maybe a couple of minutes before I hear her light snores.

I never would have thought we would be back here again, but maybe timing is everything. Maybe karma isn't such a bitch. I don't really have any answers or even know what will happen until we graduate from Rosewood. All I do know is that I am in love with her, and we're finally in a good place, the best place we've ever been. Maybe this is the beginning of the happily ever after. Of our happily ever after.

…But seriously, no more knife-wielding psychos, you feel me?

* * *

Hello again everyone! After posting the one-shot, I felt some sadness for Paige and was like, she should have a chapter too and there should be a tad bit more of a resolution. I like happy endings if I can get them. Keep in mind I wrote this at like 3am so I'm sorry if there are a ton of grammar errors! I tried correcting/ rereading today, so hopefully I got all of them.


End file.
